Dunny Rolls, Dentists and Disease
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COVID19, pass it on!
And we did… this is one of the most ridiculously contagious events of modern times. Symptoms are showing up everywhere… and few of them are flu like.
Why just yesterday I was in the local supermarket and there was not a single dunny roll to be had. Even the single ply home brand was sold out.
I rang my brother the dentist to have a whinge and got zero sympathy. Turns out that he’s got bigger things on his mind than being unwiped. In not many days, he’ll be out of medical masks. No Mask, no appointments. No appointments, no income! Supplies are critically low across Australia as people rush masks with the same intensity as dunny rolls. Experts say that wearing a mask if you are infected is a good idea, but not particularly useful for a well person trying to stay well. Given how low infection rates are, one wonders what people are using them for. Some are wearing them around their chin, nose and mouth merrily exposed, so maybe it’s all in the name of fashion.
Meanwhile a mate in London reports that China town revenue is down 50% on this time last year. People are staying away in droves. Apparently a COVID19 symptom is to be unreasonably afraid of anyone who looks Chinese! Really???
As a survival specialist a number of people have asked me if they should adopt a “prepper” mindset, stockpiling for a potential 14 day period of isolation at home. Here are my tips on that:
There’s way bigger things to worry about especially given some experts are saying this has less impact than the regular flu and is past peak infection.
If you do decide to “Prep” (And please don't) food and water are a way bigger priority than dunny rolls. 14 days with no food would leave little need to wipe. Dehydration can kill, and a major symptom of death is that your bum stops working along with the rest of you. Most of us would be able to get by on the non perishables and stuff we have in our fridge anyway, even if it meant eating that limp carrot.
Give our health professionals, supply chains and Chinese Aussies a break and adopt a business as usual approach.
Of course pay attention to hygiene and be alert if there are people around you with respiratory symptoms, but that makes sense anytime, not just now.
The final straw for this article was a truck carrying toilet paper that caught fire in Brisbane over night. Fire officer Justin Francis said “This is not overly common, particularly around the city areas but the main thing is no-one got hurt tonight and we've been able to save quite a lot of toilet paper.” I don’t know why the truck caught fire, but I wouldn’t be surprised to find that a couple of million Aussies intensely meditating on the need for a healthy supply of dunny rolls, led to it spontaneously combusting.
On the up side, it seems like Brisbane fireys will be right for dunny paper, at least for the foreseeable future, and I reckon if push comes to shove there will be more than 14 days of tucker in the Asian aisle at the local supermarket.
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