What's the Motivation?

“It’s easier when you are motivated internally.”

 It was a simple statement from a coaching client who has recently made some great progress on an area of focus. We talked about what had shifted, and the main change was moving from an externally motivated agenda to an internal decision shared with his partner. 

External motivations are usually accompanied by ‘could, should, must’. Less often by ‘will’. It’s also the sort of motivation that fades. This theme shows up over and over. As a survival instructor, you could see it in the difference between people who took action on the things they could control, rather than blaming circumstances, team members or instructors.

James Clear, author of the best seller Atomic Habits says

“The key to building lasting habits is focusing on creating a new identity first. Your current behaviors are simply a reflection of your current identity. What you do now is a mirror image of the type of person you believe that you are (either consciously or subconsciously).”

He says external motivation will last a short time. Identity based motivation is much more durable, because you embody what/who you are becoming. Habits are the actions that go with the identity, and also supply the evidence that you are becoming that person.

Brené Brown’s incredible work on vulnerability, perfectionism and shame has led her to a similar conclusion.

 “When we develop expectations, we paint a vivid picture in our head of how things are going to be, look and feel, and—riskiest of all—how the people around us will behave and respond. "I'm going to lose 10 pounds before my reunion, so I can knock their socks off!" But what happens if you're like me, and you realize the day before the reunion, "Dang! I forgot to lose those 10 pounds!" Your excitement may turn to dread. Equally upsetting: What if you do drop the weight and not a single person loses his socks?”

Brené rightly points out that that’s a recipe for resentment and shame. Not very motivating! 

If you’d like to change something, check out your motivation. Can you make it internal? How would you strengthen the identity that goes with that?

Brené Brown interviews James Clear here. It’s worth a listen.