What's the Motivation?

“It’s easier when you are motivated internally.”

 It was a simple statement from a coaching client who has recently made some great progress on an area of focus. We talked about what had shifted, and the main change was moving from an externally motivated agenda to an internal decision shared with his partner. 

External motivations are usually accompanied by ‘could, should, must’. Less often by ‘will’. It’s also the sort of motivation that fades. This theme shows up over and over. As a survival instructor, you could see it in the difference between people who took action on the things they could control, rather than blaming circumstances, team members or instructors.

James Clear, author of the best seller Atomic Habits says

“The key to building lasting habits is focusing on creating a new identity first. Your current behaviors are simply a reflection of your current identity. What you do now is a mirror image of the type of person you believe that you are (either consciously or subconsciously).”

He says external motivation will last a short time. Identity based motivation is much more durable, because you embody what/who you are becoming. Habits are the actions that go with the identity, and also supply the evidence that you are becoming that person.

Brené Brown’s incredible work on vulnerability, perfectionism and shame has led her to a similar conclusion.

 “When we develop expectations, we paint a vivid picture in our head of how things are going to be, look and feel, and—riskiest of all—how the people around us will behave and respond. "I'm going to lose 10 pounds before my reunion, so I can knock their socks off!" But what happens if you're like me, and you realize the day before the reunion, "Dang! I forgot to lose those 10 pounds!" Your excitement may turn to dread. Equally upsetting: What if you do drop the weight and not a single person loses his socks?”

Brené rightly points out that that’s a recipe for resentment and shame. Not very motivating! 

If you’d like to change something, check out your motivation. Can you make it internal? How would you strengthen the identity that goes with that?

Brené Brown interviews James Clear here. It’s worth a listen.

Ancient Mindfulness

A hunter using handmade tools must be completely alert to the smallest signs of prey. A gatherer constantly scans for signs that foods are ripe. Colours, scents, congregations of birds, or insects all point to food. For our ancestors, a full belly was preceded by mindfulness. Distraction was a perfect recipe for an empty plate. Many traditional cultures were also mindful of the sustainability of their food supply - Seasonal Mindfulness. Many considered their impact on their children’s children - Generational Mindfulness. I reckon we are deeply drawn to mindfulness, because we understand instinctively that we do better when we are fully present and focused.

Viewed through the eyes of our ancestors, mindful clarity seems like an essential survival skill. In our time-pressured world that same clarity seems critical to Thrive and Adapt when faced with constant change and uncertainty.

And it needn’t take too much time. People have precious little of that already. I don’t know anyone, in any role, who is sitting around with their feet up, wondering what to do with all the spare time they have. The transitions between our many roles get more abrupt with less time to reset between them.

Some transitions you might make today:

• Sleeping to awake

• Alone to interacting with others in your home

• Passive to active

• From ‘home self’ to ‘work self’ (clothing, thinking, body language, etc)

• From the comfort of home into the ‘world out there’

• Into and out of transit (cars, trains, bikes, taxis, buses etc.)

• Planning to action

• Action to review

• Into a meeting

• Self-directed to directed by a boss/team/task/customer

• From following to leading

• Into and out of decision-making

Which transitions create the greatest challenges for you?

Which do you slip into without really thinking?

Some transitions are massive, like entering a really important once-in-a-lifetime conversation. Others are small and mundane, sometimes deceiving us with their simplicity and commonality. At each transition pressure can build or dissipate. Each is an opportunity to reset our energy and intention. Or, we can be swept along over the waves and reefs of life, being pushed by circumstances, rather than being in control. If we don’t deal with the tension created at each transition, it builds.

In the short-term, that build-up makes life and work less pleasant and effective than they could be. In the long-term, all those moments potentially add up to one big reckoning, when something big and important gives way, and we are forced to face their accumulation all at once. People face them daily in the form of major health challenges, failed relationships, projects, and businesses. Some pay with their life.

How do you deal with the big and small transitions of your day?

Here's a tool for clarity, presence and focus in the middle of moments of pressure or transition.