Thrive and Adapt Principle – Believe Better

Humans have always been able to imagine a different reality and then bring it into being. It's the source of every innovation we have ever made. Research and anecdotal evidence shows that many people in survival situations stay alive against incredible odds, sometimes even defying medical science. It would be reasonable to think that they are people who are physically tough, or better trained for the situation. The reality is far more interesting – the one thing they have in common is that they believe they will survive.

There's a great example of this in Unbroken, Laura Hillenbrand’s biography of Louie Zamparini. Louie was lost at sea on a life raft for 47 days having been shot down over the Pacific in 1943. On the raft were two of Louie's crew mates – Phil and Mac - the only survivors of the crash. The book and subsequent movie is well worth a look.

“Though all three men faced the same hardship, their differing perceptions of it appeared to be shaping their fates. Louie and Phil’s hope displaced their fear and inspired them to work toward their survival, and each success renewed their physical and emotional vigour. Mac’s resignation seemed to paralyse him and the less he participated in their efforts to survive, the more he slipped. Though he did the least, as the days passed, it was he who faded the most. Louie and Phil’s optimism, and Mac’s hopelessness, were becoming self-fulfilling.” Unbroken - Laura Hillenbrand

Ultimately, Mac passed away, while the other two survived their ordeal.

Zamparini believed he would survive. He expected events to unfold to support his belief. He gave his attention to the evidence that suggested he was right, and to the actions that supported his intention to prevail.

How does what you believe about the circumstances you face shape your experience? Is it time to 'upgrade' your beliefs?

Here's a practical example

I was coaching a young woman who was regularly experiencing conflict with her colleagues. She is a dynamic person who sets very high standards for herself and the people around her. Her ineffective belief was, “When people don’t meet the standard, they are doing it deliberately to frustrate me”. She was experiencing lots of frustration and relationships with her peers were fragmented. The harder she tried to exert a standard, the more people felt pushed around and the less inclined they were to cooperate. After some coaching, she chose a more effective belief. “The people around me also want results, they just have a different perspective on what’s important.” She started to ask people what was important to them in their joint projects. For some people, that was enough to create some common ground and they began to pull together in the same direction. For others, there was more work to be done, but her frustration levels working with them dropped.

Sometimes all it takes is to consciously acknowledge your Beliefs and to choose a better one. It’s simple to do, but not necessarily easy. If you are handy with DIY, this worksheet will help identify and shift ineffective beliefs. You may also need to talk to a friend, coach or mentor - sometimes others can see our beliefs more clearly than we can.

If you don't already have someone to help with this sort of thinking, let me know, I'd be delighted to help.