The Leadership Closet

A newly appointed senior leader showed me her closet. 

Actually it was just the knobs on the doors. She’d proudly installed them herself (and done a mighty fine job of it). We talked about why After all, her organisation has a maintenance team for exactly that kind of work. 

Turns out the knobs were a symptom of something many of us experience when we reach a new level of leadership. We are not 100% sure what to do! It freaks us out at a subconscious level. Feeling incompetent has deep roots in human experience. In harsher times, incompetence could equate to death or alienation. It’s risky territory. 

In the face of that feeling we often default to the familiar ‘tools’ of the level below, or tasks we can obviously do, like the door knobs. Usually our motivation is good. “I don’t want to overload others”,  and “I want to be helpful”. Here’s the problem though, others experience it as micro management. It seems like you don’t trust them to get the job done.

If you are a leader at a new level, ride out your own discomfort. Thank people for the little things you could have done yourself. Watch, ask and learn. Those precious early days when you are not yet sure of yourself in the role and others extend understanding are a great time to build the relationships and knowledge for your leadership later. 

Ask: How can I clear the way for others to do their best work? What can I learn about this organisation and my place in it? What were previous leaders at this level respected or reviled for?

In the recent hot weather, Mike has been getting questions about staying hydrated, this link has his reply.

Influencing Wel

If you need to influence someone (Or a group of someones) for a particular outcome, here are some key thoughts to consider.

• Create an environment of psychological safety where wholehearted participation is encouraged and welcomed 

• Masterfully transfer skills, if there are specific skills that need to be handed over to others

• Be open to other ways of achieving outcomes (or even alternative outcomes)

Influence is discretionary. There are many things on a daily basis that we can influence. Some of them are critical, and we should absolutely get involved. Others should be left alone. It’s a matter of judgement which is which. 

Consider these five elements when deciding to influence or not:

HOW TO CHOOSE WHETHER OR NOT TO INFLUENCE
Capacity	If you’re close to maxed out, it’s more sensible to focus on your realm of control. Nailing what you can control is influence in itself. People notice your actions. A great example of this is the mantra of the Navy Seal Commanders: “calm is contagious” Calm is something that’s within your control and has a profound influence on others.
Choice	Acknowledge that influence is a choice. You can choose to get involved or not. The old adage of “choose your battles wisely” is well-placed here. We add heaps of unnecessary stress and frustration (read: shakeability) to ourselves and others by getting involved in things that we shouldn’t. Keep your powder dry for the times and places that it is to the greatest effect.
Acceptance	Be clear that this is a game of influence. It’s unlikely that you’ll end up with exactly the outcome you want. Accept that. Lack of flexibility here is one of the ways we blur the line between control and influence.
Clear parameters	The clearer you are about the desirable outcome and acceptable limits, the more effective your influence is likely to be. Muddiness doesn’t help influence.
Tactics	Given all of the above, actively choose the best tactics for the situation and the people involved. You can influence someone in many ways. Formally or informally, heavy-handed or not, directly or indirectly.

It’s a Fine Line

In a number of coaching and workshop experiences in the last few weeks, people have talked about being right on the edge of being overwhelmed. If that’s you at the moment, I feel you! Overwhelm is a state any of us can get into. When I arrive there, I sometimes feel like there’s no way out (or at least no easily visible one). It can easily feel as if one thing is piling on top of another. Last week we discussed control. Sometimes It can feel as if we don’t have much. 

One of the sources of stress comes from blurring the line between control and influence.

How we feel, act, and think are in our direct control (to a large degree - there are times when more reactive parts of our brain and physiology take over - that’s a topic for later). How others feel, act and think are in their control. If we try to control outcomes with others it will eventually do our head in. At best we can influence others. Depending on the situation, the people involved and your standing with them, the influence might be high or low. Either way, it’s not direct control. 

A practical way to reduce stress is to acknowledge the line between control and influence. When we recognise that we are in a ‘game’ of influence, it helps to reduce stress when things don’t work out exactly as we expect.  

How well do you manage that distinction?

Next week: Doing Influence well

Thriving Under Pressure

People who Thrive and Adapt fully accept and face the circumstances they are in. They recognise what they can control and what they can’t. They don’t waste energy on things they can’t change. Thrivers recognise the flow of what is happening around them and use it to their advantage. They take action, solve problems and take responsibility for the outcomes.

Thrivers create calm and opportunity for themselves and others. They are highly effective in any circumstances they face. They are constantly seeing, shifting and doing - hunting for the most effective way forward.

Feeling the pressure…

Capt. Richard De Crespigny was the pilot in charge of Qantas Flight QF32 out of Singapore bound for Sydney when the Number 2 engine blew up. The damage was extensive and rendered the plane barely flyable. The workload in the cockpit was immense. De Crespigny was literally flying for his life and those of the other 364 passengers and crew aboard. It was definitely a survival situation. De Crespigny’s clear, cool-headed leadership helped the crew sort through an unprecedented situation and cockpit workload. He focused on what was working and what they could control, thereby avoiding the distraction of the many potential disasters beyond their ability to fix. They pulled off an almost miraculous landing with no loss of life.

It’s a great example of an Adaptor at work! DeCrespigny’s book “QF 32” is well worth a read and has many lessons for dealing with pressure and leadership under pressure.

You can download a summary here.

How do you adapt to pressure?

What can you control in your current circumstances?