Finding the Peak

It was getting close to dark on what was going to be a long cold night. My friend and I were part way through a 24hr navigational challenge. Our next waypoint was the top of a distinct hill. Simple, but for the uphill walk.  But something didn’t quite add up. Small clues from the map, ground and compass told us we were on the wrong track. Filled with overconfidence and fatigue we dismissed them and maintained our tactic. We could see the hill in the fading light and we pushed harder, hoping to find the marker before dark.  We reached the summit and approached the mark. In fading daylight we saw the unique marker number ‘101’. We’d been on this very spot hours before!. Realising our mistake we saw clearly what had gone wrong. A minor deviation had become a huge loop. The ‘real’ hill was now 3km away in the gloom. Both of us had many opportunities to change the outcome. Instead we had ploughed on.  

Influence can be like that too. Choice of tactics are key. 

I often find myself heading for a ‘Hill 101’ equivalent when I choose what appears to be the quickest or easiest tactics for influence. A one line instant message is expedient, but may be ineffective or counter productive to the destination.

Consider the best options for the person/people and the situation

• Should your approach be formal or informal?

• Is it best to go directly to the person or indirectly?

• Explicit or exploratory?

• What about location and timing?

• Is it better suited to a quick message, phone call, or face to face?

Consider what will work best for the intended outcome and the people involved. When we do, we climb far fewer unnecessary hills.

Influencing Wel

If you need to influence someone (Or a group of someones) for a particular outcome, here are some key thoughts to consider.

• Create an environment of psychological safety where wholehearted participation is encouraged and welcomed 

• Masterfully transfer skills, if there are specific skills that need to be handed over to others

• Be open to other ways of achieving outcomes (or even alternative outcomes)

Influence is discretionary. There are many things on a daily basis that we can influence. Some of them are critical, and we should absolutely get involved. Others should be left alone. It’s a matter of judgement which is which. 

Consider these five elements when deciding to influence or not:

HOW TO CHOOSE WHETHER OR NOT TO INFLUENCE
Capacity	If you’re close to maxed out, it’s more sensible to focus on your realm of control. Nailing what you can control is influence in itself. People notice your actions. A great example of this is the mantra of the Navy Seal Commanders: “calm is contagious” Calm is something that’s within your control and has a profound influence on others.
Choice	Acknowledge that influence is a choice. You can choose to get involved or not. The old adage of “choose your battles wisely” is well-placed here. We add heaps of unnecessary stress and frustration (read: shakeability) to ourselves and others by getting involved in things that we shouldn’t. Keep your powder dry for the times and places that it is to the greatest effect.
Acceptance	Be clear that this is a game of influence. It’s unlikely that you’ll end up with exactly the outcome you want. Accept that. Lack of flexibility here is one of the ways we blur the line between control and influence.
Clear parameters	The clearer you are about the desirable outcome and acceptable limits, the more effective your influence is likely to be. Muddiness doesn’t help influence.
Tactics	Given all of the above, actively choose the best tactics for the situation and the people involved. You can influence someone in many ways. Formally or informally, heavy-handed or not, directly or indirectly.

It’s a Fine Line

In a number of coaching and workshop experiences in the last few weeks, people have talked about being right on the edge of being overwhelmed. If that’s you at the moment, I feel you! Overwhelm is a state any of us can get into. When I arrive there, I sometimes feel like there’s no way out (or at least no easily visible one). It can easily feel as if one thing is piling on top of another. Last week we discussed control. Sometimes It can feel as if we don’t have much. 

One of the sources of stress comes from blurring the line between control and influence.

How we feel, act, and think are in our direct control (to a large degree - there are times when more reactive parts of our brain and physiology take over - that’s a topic for later). How others feel, act and think are in their control. If we try to control outcomes with others it will eventually do our head in. At best we can influence others. Depending on the situation, the people involved and your standing with them, the influence might be high or low. Either way, it’s not direct control. 

A practical way to reduce stress is to acknowledge the line between control and influence. When we recognise that we are in a ‘game’ of influence, it helps to reduce stress when things don’t work out exactly as we expect.  

How well do you manage that distinction?

Next week: Doing Influence well

Sliding sideways into Christmas

What’s this time of year like for you? I find it feels more pressured than normal. There’s more social engagements, deadlines to meet, maintenance around the house and yard to prep for summer, organising family catch ups and more. Some of the pressure is in our minds… A reaction to ‘end of year’ approaching. But much of it is real. 

Here’s my top two tactics for dealing with it.

1. What can I control? - Getting clear about what is (and isn’t) in your control is a great place to start. For me, staying on top of things that fuel my performance and mental health are key - regular exercise, good sleep, eating well (most of the time), being orderly about my work, remembering to be grateful -  all help me to feel less like the year is pressing in. Interestingly, research about people who survive against overwhelming odds shows that they are very good at focusing on what's in their control and being less concerned with what is not.
   
   What can you more consciously control? Are you taking on things that belong with others?
   

2. Front loading! - Wherever possible do things in advance. It’s amazing how many activities you can find to do before they are due. It’s a subset of what’s in our control. I personally find this makes me feel more in control and less rushed.

3. 
   What can you front load and what would be the impact of that?

Whack a Mole?

Have you ever been in a reactive state? 

At least there's action, but it’s like a game of ‘whac-a-mole’. 

There’s no plan or strategy. The action is a scramble, just trying to stay ahead of the game. The state can be highly productive, but not necessarily effective. Individuals and teams can get a lot done. But it is sooo easy to disrupt. Without an overarching plan, changes in direction are abrupt and extreme. If preparation or forethought are required, we can be caught short. Exhaustion is common too. It feels as if there is no light at the end of the tunnel, or if there is it’s an oncoming train! 

The more reactive we get the more proactive work goes out the window. We are constantly dealing with urgent ‘stuff’ that assails us. The non-urgent but important ‘stuff’ is left until it becomes urgent. The reactive state can be super addictive too. Action-oriented people love the rush of ‘fixing on the fly’. In monotonous environments, reactive feels purposefully  important and adds a dimension of novelty and engagement. Time pressure and addictive appeal can make it a very difficult state to shift.

COVID forced many businesses into a Reactive State. Where are you now? Have you become addicted to being Reactive? If you’d like some tactics to move beyond Reactive, DM me.

PS. Some perfectionists may be delighted to find a typo, but it really is ‘Whac-a-mole’. I know! Took me by surprise too, but I guess that's game designers for you. Still sceptical? Google will tell you...And this by no means guarantees the absence of other typos.

It will be tested

“What gets said and what is done are two different things” a leader recently told me. The senior team were dealing with a challenging issue. People were finding themselves in difficult, contentious territory - Often directly opposed to each other. The issues must be addressed. There’s regulatory and governance consequences of not dealing with it. 

We’ve been working together for a while to build a high performance base for the team. Many of the ideals that have been discussed and agreed are now being tested in the heat of real issues that must be addressed and resolved. Some are feeling that people’s behaviour is inconsistent with the standards they are setting as a team.

This is reality. In any relationship of consequence there will be times when our commitment or clarity get tested. The test is a potential gift. When teams and individuals are able to process what is going on and learn from it, especially if they can do it cleanly - they’ll emerge with greater clarity and probably greater commitment too. 

It takes courage. It takes trust.

If you are currently experiencing challenging times with your team it’s useful to ask “What brought us together in the first place?”. If the fundamental reasons are still strong, that will help to sustain you in the difficult territory right now. You can emerge stronger, individually and together.

Personal Alignment

Alignment is when your thoughts, emotions, words and actions are all consistent with each other. There is no conflict between your internal dialogue and how you ‘show up’ in the world. Such alignment is a super power for leaders.

How aligned are you?

If there are conflicts, exploring ‘why’ is productive. Often massive action follows greater clarity and alignment.

Reframing Regret

Regret drags us into the past. Sometimes it prevents us from taking action now. It can even impact how we feel about the future. I’d hate to see a tally of the hours I have spent in regret over the years. I reckon they are some of the most expensive hours we can spend. They burn time, energy and can even erode confidence.

These days I’m pretty good at not having regrets. It doesn’t mean that all my decisions are brilliant in the harsh light of hindsight (wouldn’t that be something to celebrate!). It just means I don’t beat myself up about decisions and actions that I would change in hindsight. I’ve recently read 2 perspectives on regret that I find effective.

Suzanne Waldron in her wonderful little book “Sleeping Giants” says that “Regret is simply this: you know now what you didn’t know before.”

That perspective makes Regret a gift - rather than indulging it, I can use it as a trigger to acknowledge what I have learnt and how I have grown.

Recently, James Clear quoted novelist Toni Morrison on her  measure of success:

"For me, success is not a public thing. It's a private thing. It's when you have fewer and fewer regrets." Morrison’s perspective makes me wonder if regret is a product of not being fully aligned with yourself. I know for myself, and many of the leaders I work with, the more they align their decisions and actions with what matters most to them, the less regret they experience.

What part does regret play in your life?

If you are holding onto a past decision or action, what would it take to find the lessons and move on?

How could you increase your alignment?

Clean Probability

Further to last week. I finished with an opinion stated as a probability. 

“I reckon there’s a 95% chance that they are right.” 

Adding probability lends artificial credibility to my opinion. It’s not based on anything at all. Clean teams are very careful about this kind of tactic. It’s much cleaner for me to state that I agree strongly with something, and to lay out my reasons, than it is to arbitrarily give it a number. 

How do you and your team show up in this space?

Probability Can’t Help You Now

Radical Uncertainty by Mervyn King and John Kay is on my reading list at present. It’s worth a read!

They give a detailed history of how probabilistic thinking evolved and works. They argue that we are a little over enamoured by the certainty probability seems to impart. We see it used all over the place. I love it in the weather forecast where there’s a probability of rain. Every now and then the forecast will say ‘a chance of showers’ with a 100% probability of rain. When you look into the details it might say 100% chance of 0-0.1mm of rain. That’s hardly any rain, but the probability makes it sound certain that I should pack the umbrella.

Kay and King suggest that probabilities make it sound as if we are more certain than we are. I love their example of crossing the road. For any given stretch of road in your area we could get the accident statistics. We could probably even break pedestrian accidents down by age and gender. There’s a high likelihood that we could identify fairly exactly the probability of you being hit by a car if you crossed this road. BUT, that probability does not help you decide when, where and how to cross the road at all. 

They caution us to be less enamoured by probability, especially when it comes to understanding uncertain situations. 

I reckon there’s a 95% chance that they are right.

Puzzle or Mystery?

I’ve been reading an excellent book of late. Radical Uncertainty by leading economists John Kay and Mervyn King, highlights a number of challenges in our current era for leaders and decision makers. In the book, they suggest a key distinction for understanding what you are facing, and suggest the question “Is this a puzzle or a mystery?”

A puzzle might be complicated, but can eventually be comprehensively understood. Like a large jigsaw, once the edge is defined, all the pieces get assembled to create an recognisable picture. Even if there are pieces missing (Unknown, or moving data points), it's possible to get enough of a picture to make decisions with some certainty. The authors argue that it has been a long term default to view uncertainty through the ‘puzzle’ lens. The implication is that even if we can’t see the picture yet, we feel as if we might in the future. In some situations this will slow decision making and action unnecessarily while we wait for a clearer picture that may not arrive.

A mystery is essentially unknowable. There are simply too many ambiguous or undefinable elements to know the full picture. Imagine a box of 700 jigsaw puzzles all mixed together, where each piece is the exact shape and size of all others, all the edge pieces are missing, and only half have a clearly printed image. Where would you start? How would you know if it was done? In a mystery, waiting for a clear picture could be very detrimental. So could acting too early. 

You could be facing a mystery or a puzzle. In reality it’s probably several of each, potentially with no way of knowing which is which. In that case the only way to drive certainty is from within your team or organisation. Having a clear purpose and guiding principles/priorities will assist you to act, even in unknown/unknowable circumstances.

What guides you in the absence of external certainties?

Clean

Fred (name changed) takes the podium. A hush falls. The entire staff is gathered . They aren’t sure exactly why. Fred makes a lengthy opening speech - vague and broadly encouraging, even congratulatory. We are all doing good work apparently. The room is restless. It’s apparent this is not just a random pep talk. People shuffle and exchange glances. What’s this about? After more preamble,  Fred abruptly changes course and announces a bunch of redundancies. One of the people made redundant speaks up about how she feels. Fred reacts angrily. It gets messy and unnecessarily adversarial. In the aftermath, those few minutes of heated exchange are never mentioned again, but their echoes are felt for several years in the organisation. 

Redundancies are difficult how ever you slice them. For the people directly impacted there’s the uncertainty of being suddenly without a job and all that entails. For team members left behind there’s often a mix of relief, guilt, and increased workload. Depending on the culture, there can also be uncertainty and fear too. For the people managing decisions and announcements it’s a deeply challenging task - especially if you care about the people you work with. It can be a hotbed of stress and emotion. 

Last week we looked at 3 elements for successful team culture - Committed, Clear, and Clean. 

Fred’s announcement is a working example of how not to be clean. Clean means dealing with issues respectfully, well, and at the earliest possible point. We humans are emotional creatures. We can’t help but tangle emotion, ego, expectation and belief with action. It’s both a super power and Achilles’ heel. 

Fred could have been more clean by:

• Getting straight to the point. The preamble was an attempt to soften the blow. Well meaning, but untidy.

• Anticipating people’s reasonable reactions and not fighting them aggressively on the day.

• Acknowledging (not necessarily out loud) his own emotions, fears, and expectations of the meeting and striving to bring his ‘best self’.

• Treating people with more latitude and kindness on the day.

Difficult conversations of all kinds provoke many of us. ‘Clean’ acknowledges the provocation and seeks to conduct ourselves with the best intent, and assume the best intent of others. Don’t let things fester. Deal with them head on. But also with grace and kindness. Clean builds certainty for teams, even when the circumstances are untidy.

Some other examples:

• If you need to give someone direction, make it clear. Less clean is making it sound like a suggestion or an option, rather than an instruction.

• If you are voicing an opinion, own it! Less clean is framing an opinion as a question and expecting everyone to agree with you, or framing opinion as fact.

• When you sense that something you said was misinterpreted, or caused offence, tidy it up straight away. Less clean is being dismissive of others' reactions or interpretations, or just letting small stuff fester.

• Discuss/solve problems together. Less clean is laying blame or attacking people as if they are the problem.

How could you be ‘cleaner’ with your team?

A Leadership Fire

A fire needs 3 things to burn. They are all equally important. Take any one out and the fire stops. All forms of firefighting attack one or more of these critical ingredients.

Some examples - Water removes heat. A fire blanket removes air. A fire break removes fuel.

A fire left for long enough and it will exhaust one or all of the ingredients and go out. Picture a campfire. Unless you keep adding fuel, it just dies out.

When I work with leaders, we use a similar triangle. Three critical ingredients. None is more important than the others. Remove one (or more) and collapse of the team culture is inevitable.

A team like Jodi Cant’s, mentioned last week, actively strengthens all three elements. They work on them at a personal level, a team level and an organisational level. Like stoking the campfire, it doesn’t need ‘stoking’ for every minute of the day, but neglect it for too long and you may have to start again.

How are these essential ingredients looking in your team? Do any require some attention and effort? How are you actively addressing them?

How Tight is Your Team?

When I was interviewing leaders I admire for the (Un)shakeable book, several phrases stood out. Jodi Cant, then Director General of the Department of Finance said “There’s no daylight between us” to describe how united her executive team were once a decision was made. It's a great example of Commanding the Narrative and Mantras . The Mantra is visual and clearly sets intent for unified behaviour. No daylight = not even the tiniest gap. For me it conjures an image of the team standing shoulder to shoulder, facing the future, filled with courage and shared commitment. 

You only get alignment like that when the discussion, data and dispute leading up to a decision are robust. The minimum standard is that each member of the team can live with the decision. The gold standard is that each member of the team wholeheartedly agrees with it. It takes courage, solid culture and huge commitment.

If the process is not robust, the gaps between the team are huge. Often they show in undermining behaviour like:

• Leaders agreeing when face to face, but voicing disagreement to subsets of the team behind the scenes. This is a really fast way to reduce trust. It’s one of the key tactics that reality shows like Survivor use to create factions on their shows.

• Leaders going back to their team and blaming the decision on other members of the leadership group.

• Leaders not communicating the decision to the people they lead.

• And a host of other more subtle ways of undermining either each other and/or the decision.

Robust leadership cultures can be confronting. The courage, vulnerability and work involved in “No Daylight” is not for the faint hearted. There’s no room for passengers. AND if you take the time to build a culture like that you can achieve incredible results. 

How much daylight is there between members of your team?

Not According to Plan

I’m noticing a trend for short-term thinking and action provoked by the ongoing uncertainty of lockdown. It seems that just as things get moving in Australia we get interrupted again. Maintaining a balance between short-term, pragmatic action and a longer-term view is important. It’s a continuous and conscious balancing act for leaders.

I was leading a group of young people on an expedition canoeing trip during one of the heaviest periods of rain I’ve ever experienced. So heavy was the downpour that bright orange canoes disappeared into the gloom if they were more than 30 metres away. The rain stung bare skin as massive drops pounded down.

I was checking in with each two-person crew when I noticed one young guy shivering violently. His lips were turning blue. He was dressed lightly and suffering. “Put your rain jacket on!” I yelled over the sibilant roar of rain smashing into the water. “I didn’t pack one,” he replied. His logic for not packing a jacket was the sunny weather he experienced last year when he did the same trip. Talk about optimistic long-range weather forecasting!

We needed a solution quickly. Severe hypothermia in our remote location was a significant problem and he was rapidly heading down that road. I grabbed a large garbage bag, cut rough holes for his arms and neck and he pulled it over his head. Instantly warmer!

It's a great example of a quick, rough pragmatic approach. But long-term reliance on garbage bags for warmth and water proofing wouldn’t be wise.

In what areas of your business and life are you currently operating with a short-term pragmatic view? Is it necessary, or have you become reactively ‘stuck’ there? In what ways could you expand your horizon to a more strategic view?

Mantras: A Working Example

In this 3 minute video, Ex US Navy SEAL Commander, Rorke Denver talks about one of their Mantras. It’s a great working example of the power and clarity of a solid Mantra. 

How does this Mantra help SEAL commanders ‘Command the Narrative’? How does it impact culture? How does it influence decisions and action under pressure?

What impact would a Mantra like this have in your context?

If you could only have one guiding Mantra for your business, what would it be and why?

If you’d like a hand to work through those questions, feel free to be in touch.

Mantras

Last week’s article hit a nerve for some of you. 

“The word ‘command’ in command the narrative feels too aggressive” was one of many comments.  

I get it. I wrestled over the word for months before I was happy to use it. Even now it provokes some discomfort in me. 

Command the Narrative!

It’s a bold declaration. It has impact in a few short words. It conveys boundaries and a willingness to defend them. It has gravitas and forward movement. It takes courage and a willingness to be seen. It cuts through babble. 

It’s memorable. 

It’s a mantra.

Mantras are one way to Command the Narrative.

You’ll find they already exist in your culture. They are short phrases loaded with meaning. (Not necessarily positive or what you want – remember fermentation from a few weeks ago). They get repeated in meetings and casual conversation. You may have heard some around.

It’s always been that way

‘They’ don’t understand

I’m so busy

Nothing ever changes

It’s too hard

These things are sticky, contagious, and pervasive, just like a good mantra will be. It’s part of the reason that Command the Narrative is not too strong. Without intentional narrative, the default prevails. It costs energy, momentum and resources. 

It leaves a lack of clarity hanging over everything like a fog.

Notice the mantras in your culture? Are they contributing to the right future? 

Command the Narrative

Humans are story tellers. We can’t help it. Stories create connection and meaning. 

As a survival instructor one of my main roles was creating uncertainty for participants. One of the most effective tactics was to give factual but incomplete information. Groups would fill the gaps with incredible things they thought we were going to do to them. One group turned “there will be a helicopter involved” into “They are going to make us skydive into the desert out of a helicopter”. You can imagine the stress that caused!

Incomplete information is a permanent feature of our current. Sometimes this is a product of complexity – there is so much to understand, that it’s almost impossible to get a complete picture. Sometimes it’s because of rapidly evolving situations where what was useful yesterday is irrelevant today.

 Either way it creates uncertainty, and we can’t help filling the gaps. We’ve seen this right through COVID – people setting arbitrary dates when ‘normal’ will be back is just one example. 

I reckon it’s imperative for leaders to Command the Narrative if you want any sense of certainty for you and your team. 

I’m not suggesting for a minute that you put fanciful ‘spin’ into the gaps. That will rapidly build scepticism and distrust. Rather, focus the narrative on purpose and direction. Make it about how you will behave in relation to each other and the challenges you face. Make it about the cultural expectations you have of each other. 

If you do that well, challenges and information gaps become opportunities to intentionally build culture and a sense of internal certainty that isn’t reliant on the situation you are currently in.

Culture Ready or Not

Fermentation interests me. 

Over the years I’ve really enjoyed making artisan bread, mead and fruit wines. I’ve mostly opted to let nature take its course. Natural fermentation relies on airborne yeasts taking residence in whatever you happen to be brewing. 

If the conditions are right, you get healthy yeast cultures and yummy results. 

But… a slimy, stinking mess is also possible. Definitely not edible, and probably toxic. 

A good culture takes care. Neglect it for too long, and the culture feeds on itself. It turns nasty pretty quick. Sometimes, you can repair it with some concentrated attention to the environment, but it only works if you haven’t neglected it for too long. Occasionally, a desperate removal of two thirds of the culture and replacement with fresh ingredients will bring it back, but it’s a long shot. 

Part of the reason commercial bakers and vintners use commercial yeasts, is that they can quickly establish a culture with predictable and repeatable results.  

Whether you intentionally create and maintain it, or leave it to chance, there will be culture. It may or may not be the kind you want or expect. 

In an organisation culture is the collective result of assumptions, values and behaviours that repeatedly show up in action. This may or may not align with what is said or written about the culture.

I’ve had lots of conversations with leaders over the last month or two about culture.

There are 2 central themes

• culture has deteriorated during lockdowns/working from home

• people are behaving in ways that don’t fit the culture we would like to create.

When I go digging for more information, there’s usually a set of assumptions about what the desired culture should be, but little current effort to bring that culture to life or maintain it.

How have you been maintaining your culture this past year?

(Un)shakeable Resilience

Resilience has been overplayed I reckon. I keep hearing suggestions that if people were more resilient, they would handle pressure better and everything would be somehow easier. On Bryn Edwards' podcast, we tackled 3 big issues with resilience:

1. Don't try to build resilience when it's being tested. That's like asking a trainer to get you fit at the start line of an ultra-marathon. At that point you have what you have, and the last thing you need is someone telling you need more. If you are human, you already have it and are good at it. Can it be developed further? Sure, but if you are human, it's already in your DNA.

2. Resilience = Ease. There seems to be a misconception that if you are resilient, you'll breeze through challenges and duress. Nope, you only need resilience if the pressure is on. It will help you deal with pressure, but pressure is still pressure.

3. Sometimes resilience gets used as an excuse to avoid fixing systems that create stress in the first place. If your systems need work, do that rather than telling people they need to be more resilient.

Thanks for having me on the podcast again Bryn. I really enjoyed your questions.