Smiling: The Simplest Super Power

We were heading into an awkward moment, neither sure what to do next. I was being served by an older Malay woman in a store in Kuala Lumpur. Her limited English was way better than my limited Bahasa, so it was the language we were using. I asked a question, and despite our best efforts together, I couldn’t make it clear, and she couldn’t understand. We were both getting a little frustrated, not with each other, but with our mutual misunderstanding. I smiled. She smiled back. We laughed. It was a moment of human connection. Frustration dissipated. We tried again with more success.

According to some researchers, trust in a workplace has 2 components - Warmth and Competence. Warmth = approachability and safety. Competence = We’ll be able to get the job done. We humans judge warmth in milliseconds. Competence takes longer to establish. But guess what… If we are already seen as warm, we are more likely to be seen as competent too. A genuine smile is one of the fastest ways we have of conveying warmth. Smiling more is a simple super power to build trust and open the door for Psychological Safety.

It’s easy to forget when under pressure, in a hurry or dealing with contentious topics. And it’s also all the more important. Experiment with smiling more, I’d love to hear your results.

The Busy Dillema

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

I was working with a leader (let’s call her Beth) last week who echoed a familiar theme. Busy! Not just with ‘busy work’. Beth faces a continual assault of important things joining her action list. Much of it is ‘Mission Critical’ - left for too long it becomes both important and urgent. Like many, she feels the timeframe for action is getting compressed. The result? Close range focus and compelling reactivity. Both feed the sense of urgent transactional pressure. So how the hell do you add clarity in the midst of that!

One of the simplest levers is to look for recurring patterns and see if you can inject clarity early. Beth works in human services and has an important customer whose service sometimes reaches a crisis point where their family gets involved. At a minimum, this requires some careful communication. At worst it results in a formal complaint and mandated response/action. The urgent (and important) requirement to respond adds pressure to Beth, her team and the person receiving the service.

When we unpacked it in detail, most of the issues arise because the family doesn't have enough information about what is happening. The family, Beth and her team spend hours (sometimes days) resolving the situation. When Beth contacts the family regularly to update them on the service, the larger concerns are dealt with while they are still manageable. It adds clarity for everyone. Adding a regular call or visit to update the family saves time and adds value for everyone involved.

The challenge for Beth is she is genuinely busy. The service is mostly going well. Making those regular calls will be in competition with many other urgent tasks. AND proactive action like this always creates clarity, capacity and alleviates pressure.

What are the recurring pressure points for you? What action could you take to add clarity and reduce the pressure?

Clear as Mud

Image by Hans from Pixabay

One of the greatest barriers to effective work is getting clear about what we want, need or expect for a job well done. Here are some examples of lack of clarity getting in the way of good work. They are all live examples from my own interactions with staff, or from leaders I coach.

• A designer sends me some sample ideas based on an initial brief. It’s not even close to what I was expecting. I’m baffled, because I’m sure I have been really clear about what I consider some of the fundamental ‘must haves’ in the design. When I go back to my brief I find several areas that I thought were crystal clear, but on reflection are very ambiguous. I have not set the designer up for success. I could have done a much clearer job of the brief. The designer could have asked for more clarification.

• A manager gets very frustrated when a high priority piece of work has received no attention for several weeks. They had given an urgent task to the person responsible. The urgent task was interpreted as a ‘drop everything else’ priority. He had shifted all his effort and attention to the new task. It left the manager questioning his capability and him feeling ambushed and unsupported.

• A team gets delegated work from their team leader. They take no action. Why? Because the team leader has a pattern of taking over part way through a delegated task and ‘re-doing’ it because it’s not ‘up to standard’. Neither the leader or the team can articulate what the ‘standard’ is. The team has decided to wait until the team leader initiates the direction, because it feels like a waste of time to do otherwise.

• A director gives a senior leader responsibility for coordinating the scheduling of staff for significant remote area projects that the team is delivering. The leader starts organising a detailed roster to ensure expertise, breaks, and logistics are all taken into account for each trip. She’s told she’s overstepping the mark. The directors wanted to be able to assemble their own project teams. The senior leader was completely confused about what was expected. Turns out they wanted someone tracking workloads and scheduling issues, to advise on team makeup, rather than someone to actually assemble the team. Both had a really different picture of what ‘coordination’ meant.

All these examples burnt time, energy and resources. They created frustration and more work to arrive at good outcomes. All of them involved capable, competent and enthusiastic people. Lack of clarity was a significant factor in all of them.

Do you have similar experiences where you work? What’s the impact?

Lack of role clarity is listed as a potential psychosocial hazard. Lack of clarity adds to workload and can certainly contribute to stress. Clarity also contributes to a sense of certainty and acts as a launch pad for high performance. Next time we’ll talk about what we can do to add clarity.

Break Back to Back

Guess what! Back to back virtual meetings cause elevated stress levels. Recent research from Microsoft confirms it, but none of us are surprised. Anyone who has leapt from one “Brady Bunch” screen to another has felt it.

Microsoft scanned the brains of 14 people as they went back-to-back, compared to taking a 5 to 10 minute break between meetings. Back to back = elevated and sustained stress levels (Red/Yellow scan). Short breaks = minimal stress (Blue scan).

And while the research focuses on virtual meetings, I reckon it would hold true for face to face ones as well (although at least there is a short decompression as you move from one to the other.)

Elevated stress smashes our ability to think, decide, solve, communicate, and collaborate. Most of those meetings require one or more of these from us. As a survival instructor, creating ‘task saturation’ was a really easy way to create duress for a team on a survival course. Impose a tight deadline, swamp them with information, ask for clear decisions and plans, hit them with distractions and before long the stress levels are through the roof and mistakes are made. That adds even more pressure, as now the team has to solve problems it has created for itself. Now add conflict (or at least friction/tension) as people get shorter and sharper with each other. Does this sound familiar?

We can do better. And we need to. This stuff has a direct impact on bottom line. In Australia there have also been recent changes to Work Health and Safety that put greater responsibility for workplace mental health and wellbeing on employers. This stuff has a pretty clear cause and effect chain. There are known health consequences of sustained levels of unhealthy stress. Back to Back environments may well end up in similar territory of allowing employees to operate in dangerous environments when fatigued. In a tight recruitment market, being a better place to work will also be a competitive edge. Proactively addressing this problem makes sense on many fronts.

Potential system solutions:

• Set calendar systems to make meetings 25 min rather than 30, or 50 min rather than 1hr.

• Set 2 or 3, 15 to 20 minute break blocks per day where none can book anyone for anything.

Potential style solutions:

• Have some meetings standing up/walking, and outside.

• Lead by example. Take mini breaks. Encourage others to do the same.

Potential working solutions:

• Give people greater say in the meetings that they attend, or at least ask ‘why do we need this meeting?’

• Get clear about what the meeting is for. If it’s not clear, can it.

People are generally experiencing higher than normal levels of fatigue, stress and burnout. “Push Through!” is a valid answer in short burn situations. It doesn’t work in longer burn ones.

Let’s create an environment where we all scan ‘Blue’.

That's Encouraging

Encouragement is twice as likely as criticism to create improvement, said Col Fink on Linked In. I asked Col if he had any data to back it up. ‘It feels intuitively right’ said Col. I agree. And there are some numbers too.

Losada and Heaphy did research looking at this in 2004. They don't quantify what "high" vs "medium" performance actually looks like. There has been significant criticism of their methodology since. I reckon as leaders, there are several actionable observations, regardless of validity of the numbers.

1. There is a disproportionate effect of positive reflection vs criticism - this spans territory like saying thanks and well done, gratitude practices, feedback and more.

2. 'Room for improvement' observations have greater traction in an environment biased toward the positive. Maybe that's because it feels like the person making the observations actually cares about us and notices the good stuff too.

3. We are biased to notice problems. I reckon that's the engine room of human success. We notice stuff and forget after improving it. This bias also reduces the likelihood that we'll repeat mistakes. That's the upside. The downside is we feel as if we are not getting anywhere especially in situations when the work is not physically visible or tangible. Positive reflection creates a sense of progress - It's a modern leadership imperative!

4. Whether praising or criticising (self or others) the good stuff happens when we are as clear and specific as possible. "Good Job" is less useful than "The simple layout of that project plan really helped me get my head around it. Thanks for the effort you put into that."

It's counterintuitive to pause and reflect positively on what’s been achieved. You'll be more likely to focus on the intense transactional cadence of getting the next thing done - but it has massive ROI. I reckon Col Fink's intuitive 2:1 is somewhere near the mark and it may even be higher.

How can you encourage someone right now?

Great Questions

I’ve been a fan of great questions my whole life. They have a way, when asked well, of opening and deepening really interesting conversations. Over the years I have kept notebooks filled with great questions I have heard. I was recently interviewed on Sonia Nolan’s “My Warm Table” podcast. Sonia combines questions about food, family and expertise that result in a dramatically different type of conversation. I’ve loved listening to Sonia and some of her other guests, and hope you enjoy the conversation we recently shared.

By the way, I’m keen to keep adding to worthwhile podcasts out there. People like Sonia put a lot of work into great content. If you know anyone looking for guests, let me know.

It's their job!

RANT ALERT!!!

I can't believe I'm still hearing some leaders say, “They are just doing what’s required of them in their job. Why should I thank them?” Really? How’s that working out for you?

Some leaders seem to believe that employees should be grateful that they have a job, and just get on with it. And while you’ll never hear me say a bad word about gratitude, (It’s a powerful way to shift mindset and even body chemistry for the better) this just doesn’t cut it.

Employees are the absolute engine room for success in business at any scale beyond sole practitioner. When they have clarity about what they are doing and why, and feel it’s genuinely appreciated, it makes a world of difference.

If you even remotely think “Why should I thank them?”, run an experiment. For a month, just try it. Go out of your way to catch people doing good work, showing good intent, contributing ideas, effort or leverage to your enterprise. Notice them doing it and thank them for it. See what a difference it makes. If you can’t find anything, thank them for showing up. See the differences in happiness,

CAUTION: Don’t even bother trying this if your thanks are not genuine. People can spot that BS from over the horizon.

For the rest of you leaders who genuinely get this and already make a habit of it - Thank you! Keep up the great work. How you make your employees feel contributes to my community!

OK. RANT over. Soap box returned to storage.

Clarity

Brené Brown is well known for her assertion that “Clear is Kind”.

In Psychological Safety research people give many reasons for avoiding clarity. The top ones are:

• It will result in some form of retaliation

• It will damage the working relationship

I see myself and others do this all the time. I have something to tell you but I’m not sure hope you’ll react - so I beat around the bush using vague statements, or avoid the topic entirely.

Psychological Safety and clarity are reciprocal. Build one you build the other. Damage one you damage the other. Usually our own intention and meaning is 100% clear (and obvious) to us. For clarity to be shared, we have to get past filters, assumptions and experience.

Make it a personal and team standard to be more clear as a result of any interaction with others. Some places this applies:

• Vision, mission or purpose

• Expectations about behaviour or standards

• What success looks like

• How problems get solved

• Who is responsible for an action, and by when

• Targets and time frames

• Boundaries of delegated authority

• What you are asking for

• Your ‘Yes’ or ‘No’

What is one thing you could do immediately to be more clear? What about this week? Are there any longer term projects that could benefit from greater clarity? How could you contribute to clarity? Is there anyone you need to seek greater clarity from?

Kindness

Our local open spaces look great. Today I saw why. A young city staff member was flat out with a rake and blower piling up and then picking up autumn leaves and rubbish. Without her efforts I reckon it would be knee deep. I paused on my morning walk and said “Thanks, the place looks great.” She smiled.

I’ve been reminded a lot lately about the impact of kindness. It’s easy, especially if we are stressed, to be short with others or overly focused on problems and criticism. At its worst, this can even be people making personal attacks. I certainly don’t always get this right. However small those harsh moments, they have a negative impact.

Christine Porath and Christine Pearson have investigated the impact of incivility (unkindness) in the workplace for decades. Their findings are profound. Even small moments directly impact people's mental health, productivity, customer service and the bottom line. Being kind is not only the decent human thing to do, but it makes good business sense too.

At the moment, many people across sectors are feeling fatigue, stress and pressure. One of the practical things we can do to impact this is set the intent of kindness, and follow it with action.

Ask yourself:

• When, how and with whom am I most likely to be harsh?

• In what simple ways can I demonstrate kindness today?

• How can I be kinder to myself?

If you’d like some specific suggestions, let me know.

What story will we tell?

When I was working as a Survival Instructor, one of the most effective ways to create uncertainty and duress was to give people incomplete information. Humans are natural story and meaning makers. If something is incomplete, or doesn’t make sense, we can't help it, we make a story to fill the gaps. Often the stories are not helpful.

Early on in my business, I was lousy at follow up. The story I told myself if I hadn’t heard back from a potential client was that they didn’t want my services and wouldn’t appreciate hearing back from me. With incomplete information from people, I was filling the gaps. On a rare occasion that I was following up someone told me they were very grateful for the follow up. They thought the work we were planning was really important, but it was getting buried in short term priorities. My follow up was keeping it active on the list. I was totally surprised by his reaction, because it was so different from the story I was telling myself. I’m much better about follow up now. The story I tell myself now is that it’s part of my job and most people appreciate it, if it’s done well.

As leaders we operate continuously on partial information. It’s also not possible to tell everybody everything you know, so they are operating on part information too.

Tuning in to the stories you and others are telling to fill the gaps is a useful leadership skill. Ask questions like:

• What information do we have?

• What assumptions are we making about it?

• What stories are we telling? Are they true? Are they effective? Are they leading to the action/results we are looking for?

Is there a better story to tell?

The way things are done around here

Most sectors are experiencing higher than normal turn over at the moment. Coupled with already high workloads for many, this adds load and fatigue. Under those circumstances it can be challenging to welcome new team members and set them up for success. A couple of clients have intentionally paused to plan beyond the formal induction process. Together we have explored creating a really warm welcome for their new team members, giving the best chance of rapidly reaching high performance together.

If you are in a similar situation here are some elements you might like to consider:

• How your team works together - What holds the team together, creates momentum and cohesion?

• What is important to the team? - Are there values, targets, standards, expectations or priorities that set/maintain direction?

• Are there significant things to know about the organisation and its status right now?

Are there significant things to know about the organisation and its status right now?

Also consider whether there are any challenges for people that have been on the team for a while. For example, they may be feeling disappointed at the loss of previous team members, or a ‘bit over’ inducting yet another person. Ideally, the team doesn't want these ‘past facing’ issues rubbing off on new staff.

It can be challenging carving the time out to make sure people are welcomed well. It’s more essential than ever in the current market.

Field of Play

“The ideal solution is re-stump the house. That would cost around $80K. I don’t think it’s worth it. We can stabilise the structure and achieve a reasonable result for way less, but It won’t be perfect. Let’s discuss the compromises and consequences of the cheaper version to make sure you’ll be happy with the result”

Harry the Chippy

“We have clarity about the features that must be included at launch. These cannot be compromised. If needed we’ll delay launch until we can deliver them. Then there’s features that are essential to long term success. It would be great to have them at launch, but we won’t delay for them. We’ll likely release them over the first few months of the platform being live. Finally there’s our wish list, features that would make the product match our dream. For now we can’t be distracted by these. We can build them as we build success.”

Mike the Software CEO

Both these are examples of a leader doing one of the most effective things to reduce uncertainty - they are bringing clarity to the field of Play. Imagine a sporting team trying to focus its effort without knowing the rules of the game or boundaries of the arena. It would be chaos.

As a leader, especially in uncertainty, one of your main roles is to clarify the field of play.

Effective Action

We were 5 days into a serious desert survival exercise. We had run short of water because we had assumed that the springs we saw in the first few days would continue. Up until that moment, no one had really spoken candidly. As with any team in the early stages of coming together, we were inclined to defer, accommodate and agree. That all changed when someone suggested a 7km backtrack to the last large body of clean water we had seen. Given our 20km daily target, this would have almost doubled our work rate for the day, and added risk. We were standing beside a small flowing stream, but it was smelly and had algae covering the water.

The effort of the suggested backtrack flipped the group into a candid conversation about the effort, reward, risks and other factors involved in the decision. While the conversation was difficult, our decision to filter and boil the lower quality water and keep moving forward was a good one. We all focused on the problem, rather than the people. Suggestions were made and debated vigorously.

In a workplace this is one of the key benefits of psychological safety. Candid conversations get us to better decisions, less unnecessary effort, less do-overs, less frustration. It’s commercially astute.

On top of creating the environment for frank conversations, there also has to be effective action. The two most common reasons people have for not speaking up:

• Fear - looking stupid, ridicule, losing your job, retaliation, retribution or isolation have people weighing whether it’s worth the risk.

• Nothing Changes - If people do speak up, but nothing changes, it feels pointless and people will stop doing it.

Candour in our survival group required action on both fronts. People’s input was welcome and respected (after all, we would all have to live with the consequences of the final decision). Once discussed, a firm decision was made and the group immediately took action.

Which of these 2 reasons for not speaking up is more prevalent in your workplace? Why? What could you do personally and today to move forward?

Making it Right

I showed the plumber a mishmash of 5 pipe connectors roughly glued together. I asked him what he thought it was. ‘Crappy Reticulation?’ was his best guess. Not even close! It was part of the main water connection to our house and no where near compliant with any standard past or present.  The carpenters accidentally broke the pipe which was buried barely a hand span below ground.

The carpenters could have done a quick repair and hidden the issue, but instead pointed it out potentially saving major problems later. 

The desire to do a high quality job outweighed fear of repercussions from admitting the damage and highlighting the substandard system. That’s an admirable attribute of the business owner. I’d also briefed him that I was expecting to find some hidden problems and wanted to rectify them while work was being done so he was not expecting a negative reaction for raising it. Combined with his preference of service over personal comfort, it's a perfect recipe for a great outcome. 

People don't speak up when they feel there will be blow back. Sayings like ‘No one got fired for silence’ and ‘Better safe than sorry’ give clues about the challenges of creating an open environment in work places.

Have you ever maintained your silence even when you knew you should speak up? If so, what risks were you weighing up? 

If you are a leader, how sure are you that people would be comfortable and willing to raise issues, suggest improvements or ask questions? If there are gaps, what risks do they cause?

That’s a great question…

“If you want a better answer, ask a better question”

I ask a lot of questions. I reckon it’s a key leadership skill to ask more than tell.

Often people say “Great Question, do you mind if I use it?”. I’m always delighted to share! A great question has a way of slicing through layers and revealing new insight.

There’s no doubt that using questions well is a worthy skill to develop.

Here’s some tips

• Collect good questions. Any time you hear a great question, record it somewhere. Make some notes about why it resonated.

• Ask yourself Where might you use it and why?

• While the question is important, it’s far more important to be genuinely curious about the answer.

• Ask generously. Questions are often used as traps to convince people or make them look/feel uniformed (politics is a great place to look for examples of this). Ask with the intent to explore.

• Make it safe to answer. We sometimes judge people by their answers. Small sounds of disapproval, eye rolls, telling them they are wrong etc are easy ways to put people off.

I’m always happy to share questions. How can I claim ownership of something that has probably been asked before? Many of the questions I use are collected from somewhere and I can’t always point to the source. I’d rather share them and encourage others to get good at asking too.

What's the best question you have ever been asked? Why did it have such a memorable impact? How could you use that question, or a version of it in your leadership today?

Grinding the Gorge

“If we are where you say we are, that wall should be north of us,” he said.

I agreed, it was an obvious statement. We’d been looking at the map, confirming where we were. He pulled out the compass and pointed it at the wall. South! My brain did back flips as I assimilated the info. I was horribly wrong about where we were, and we were way off course!

How did it get so bad? We’d been walking for a while assuming everything was OK.

In hindsight I caused it all. I’d set up an environment where there was little opportunity for input from others and low incentive to offer it. Even though the mistake cost everyone effort and miles of walking, it was a long time before anyone spoke up. Perhaps you’ve been in leadership situations like that… Wishing someone had said something earlier. 

So what were the causes

• Arrogant overconfidence. I’d been navigating on land, sea and air, plus underwater for years. I taught classes on the topic. I knew my stuff and was technically good. I felt like I couldn’t go wrong and that got me fixated on my assumptions rather than open and curious. 

• Man with the plan. People defaulted to me as the ‘guy with the answers’ because I quickly took control and started moving.

• No Space. The pace left no room for questions. Even if people were unsure, stopping to ask a question would have felt like impeding forward progress (we had some ambitious destination targets). If the ‘question’ was a niggling uncertainty rather than a clearly formed concern, it would risk looking foolish in front of the group. When we stopped for a break, someone had time to look, think, examine the map and ask a question, but before then it would have been hard.

• No feedback loops. As a group we did nothing to establish how we would work together. We just flew into action. Spending some time doing this would have saved us hours of pointless walking.

If your people are not contributing ideas, voicing concerns, suggesting improvements and bringing their best, it’s worth asking:

“What am I doing to make it difficult for people to do that?”

If you have a trusted advisor you might like to ask them the same question and listen to the answer.

Leaders set the tone for the team.

This is a set up? - 3 keys to feeling safe.

I put the document in my desk drawer and locked it, taking care to remove the key. The document wasn’t particularly sensitive or contentious, but in the current environment it could be used against me. Trust was at an all time low. One of our leaders was setting factions against each other. Information was being stolen and manipulated to favour some and disadvantage others. People had lost their jobs as a result of blatantly manipulated information. 

There was no such thing as open conversation, sharing of ideas, or collective problem solving. Dog eat dog. It’s the most extreme environment I have ever worked in. 

I reckon leaders mostly operate with good intent, rather than being actively malicious. Sometimes though, our actions can create unintended impacts on Psychological Safety.

Here are three ways you can rapidly influence it.

1. Clarity - What's the overall purpose and direction? What is each person's role, responsibility and scope of authority? What are our priorities tactically and strategically? What does success look like? If any of this is unclear, it can easily feel as if the goal posts are shifting. It adds uncertainty.

2. Respect Hierarchy - When leaders bypass direct reports to task people further down the hierarchy, the people in the middle feel like they aren’t trusted. Same happens when leaders routinely step in to deal with problems or complaints from further down the hierarchy. Clarity makes this significantly easier.

3. Responsibility - When teams look for scapegoats anytime problems arise or mistakes are made, the result is mediocrity. People tend to operate in a way that doesn’t attract attention. Finger pointing hardens the boundaries between silos and reduces willingness for collaborative work. Great questions to ask (and encourage others to ask) are ‘How have I (or my team) contributed to the issue?’ ‘How can I/we contribute to a solution?’ What is the best outcome in relation to our clear direction and priorities?’ 

When these 3 are missing, people often feel as if there is deliberate action against them, even if there is no direct malicious intent.

Breathing Space

When was the last time what you said was misinterpreted? What was the impact?

A coaching client told a member of his team months ago that he didn’t have time right now to look at something for them. He was overloaded. His intent was to have the person bring it to him later in the day. He was mortified to find that months later the team member thought he meant, “I don’t care about your problems or workload - deal with them yourself.” He wasn’t aware of the impact until he had to intervene in a problem that couldn’t be solved by the team member alone.

It’s a great example of how easily psychological safety can be damaged. Even though he and the team member have discussed it and reset, it will take a while before she feels entirely comfortable bringing problems forward. A lot is riding on his reactions to the first few.

In my latest book (Un)shakeable, one of the leaders I interviewed passed on a lesson from a mentor who was head of MI5 in the Middle East during a significant conflict. The essence of the advice was:

“You always have at least a minute to think (if not, it’s probably a ‘duck for cover’ situation). A minute may not seem like enough, but run a stopwatch. 60 seconds is a decent amount of time to think if it’s used well. And the minute you spend thinking will have a greater impact on the outcome than taking immediate action.”

Creating breathing space like that, especially when you and your team are under serious pressure, is a great way to reduce actions that damage the psychological safety of the team.

How can you create breathing space in your day?

Rio Report: Risks and Challenges

Rio Tinto made a bold move publicly releasing the Broderick report into their workplace culture. The report highlighted bullying, sexual harassment and sexual assault in many global operations. Many felt unable to report or act. Rio have a hard road ahead, and an opportunity to reshape themselves into a genuinely world class culture. The proof will be in the action taken over coming weeks and years. One leader I admire at Rio said “The price of a great culture is eternal vigilance”. 

It’s easy to throw opinions around about Rio, but I reckon the report presents a number of challenges and risks to us all.

Organisational Challenge - If you opened your organisation to a similar review,  would the report be positive? How visible are the issues? How are they being addressed? Is there a culture of tacit acceptance and ‘open secrets’? How do you actively promote a higher standard?

Leadership Challenge - How and where do you address issues like those reported? Broderick found a ‘leadership lottery’ where people’s experience of Rio and negative behaviour varied greatly depending on their leader. How do you stack up personally? Do you actively create a solid culture and call out abusive behaviour? If, like me, you provide support to leaders, how are you addressing these issues? We need more open conversation and support for action. 

The Risk - The report rightly highlights Bullying, Sexual Harassment and Sexual Assault as critical issues to be addressed. They absolutely must be. But… if  psychological safety is seen as only the absence of those behaviours, we do a disservice to the people in our organisations. In physical safety,  serious incidents, accidents and fatalities absolutely need critical and urgent attention, and  a well rounded approach also looks at much smaller indications of safer/less safe. We could look at banter taken too far, gossip, disengagement, rudeness, unkindness, among others. 

Let’s work the complete spectrum and create workplaces not only free of bullying, assault and harassment, but ones that are a genuine delight to work in.

It’s the right thing to do.

Creating a Sense of Safety and Connection

Have you ever had a moment where 4 small words had the potential to dramatically change your experience? Back when planes were a regular part of my work and life I had one of those moments. 

I was seated halfway along a smallish plane. 

The aircrew were moving along the plane from the back opening all the overhead lockers as they came. There seemed to be a sense of urgency.. 

I wondered what they could possibly be looking for. Aircrew know where things are. If they needed some piece of equipment they would go get it. 

It also seemed unlikely they were looking for something for a passenger.

If we want something from hand luggage in an overhead locker we stand up and get it, not call the aircrew for a systematic search!

And yet, here they were systematically searching lockers along the whole plane… Strange.

Eventually the crew arrived at my row.  She opens the locker, stands on tip-toe to peer in and appears to be subtly sniffing the air. 

I couldn’t help but ask, “Are you looking for something?”

Her response amazed me. It was very low on the list of things I would ever expect aircrew to ask a passenger. 

She looked me straight in the eye, smiled as only air crew  can and asked, 

“Can you smell smoke?”

Her question didn’t especially bother me. I couldn’t smell smoke, and I’m very comfortable on planes

For a less comfortable passenger the question could well be enough to have them clawing for the handles on the nearest emergency exit!

It’s a great illustration of psychological safety. For the crew, the situation clearly wasn’t of great concern, and she was in an environment very familiar to her. When we are familiar with our environment, we can inadvertently do or say something that deeply disturbs someone less familiar.

One of the quickest ways to build trust and psychological safety is to anticipate possible perspectives and issues for those around you, especially if they are new to the environment.

Time spent setting their mind at ease strengthens their trust and regard for you.

The challenge is to be aware enough of what those concerns might be, especially if the environment has become routine for you.

Where could you more effectively build trust and psychological safety for those around you?